I feel I am in a shopping trolly that has been pushed down a hill. I am facing up the hill laughing at the joy of the ride oblivous to the impending cliff coming. I have continued on with my current reality goings on. All of the things in it are beginning to feel more and more foreign. I am starting to feel like a stranger in my own skin. It is an awful feeling. No no, I am not gay, and need feeling like I need to come out or anything. I am married to a beautiful woman, whom I adore, who is the greatest most amazing wife a man could ever dream of having. This is my sweetheart here. Her name is Ji Hyun. She is from Pusan Korea.
She tells me she loves me 6 times a day, and shows me with little actions and gestures about 100 times more. But, she is the only thing I would take with me in a reality change. And I am in this current reality feeling very much out of place. Let me ask you this. Does a caterpillar feel like a butterfly? Does it long to kick off it's crysalist, and fly. I am a caterpillar who feels like I should have been a butterfly a long time ago. I apprecitate caterpillar food and clothes, and home I am given, but all the while inside me, isn't this ungreatful desire for more, but a sense of 'I am supposed to be somewhere else' . I feel I am supposed to be in another completely different reality...eating butterfly food, in butterfly clothes, and most important enjoying a butterfly's view of the world. The thing is...I can't the instruction manual for making a crystalist.
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