Lonely place

I am not a depressed sort of person, ha ha, far from it most would say. But today I feel a terrible sense of emptiness. I am surrounded by exceptional potential, power and happiness that is beyond measure, yet it seems to stay on the end of a stick, dangling in front of me. I have a great new friend in the making called Ryan. He is such a great guy. But right now his whole world is sinking into a pit of shit because of the recession. I wish I could help him. Yet even if I had the power of a god, the helplessness would be overwhelming, because you cannot save everyone. On this basis, you could only survive here, if you didn't know what was going on most of the time. If you knew or you noticed the evil intent, that is everywhere, you would be so full of hate for the doers that your life would suck for lack of capacity to be able to do anything about it. If I think about when one Women gets raped, there is great hate for the man who had intent to do this evil and then carried through with it. It is like a life time of supressed hate as if I was once a victim myself. But I choose to supress it, because otherwise it would consumme me. Not only are there so many rapes in the world, but so much torture and other crap that people do to other people. Usually in my day I would never expose myself to such ideas. I justify all things with a dose of metaphysical reckoning. But today, it is like more than ever I am living a life that is a lie, and it sucks. The thing about the truth.....it weighs less than lies, and so it will always, eventually, float up through the layers to the surface for all and one to see. I just don't understand why I feel so depressed. Somedays I feel so angry, and frustrated for no reason. Today for no reason I feel depressed. I say snap out of it. But it is like, you are asking me to snap out of this: It is like inside me I have the great need to save someone. I have a longing to save someone and make a difference. To feel like I matter in a significant way. But it is like, I cannot save anyone, not even myself at the moment. Yet there in front of me is the power to do it all. It is a terrible thing to know that if you don't have the power you cannot save someone, if you do have the power you cannot save everyone. Which is the greater burden? It is this place that I am in now. It is a lonely place.