The mysteries of change

We are on the verge of a great change. There is an opportunity on the table of going to coach in Dubai. There is little advantage I can see other than the money would be great, and you are living in a luxury environment. However, to be honest, I would rather stay in NZ, or go an live in a Buddist Monastry to further develop my metaphysics.

On the other hand there is nothing to lose by seeing where the opportunity takes us. We are going nowhere here. The academy feels like it could work, but then so did everything I have ever done, and this doesn't feel like it has a good ending to it.

If the money was really good, then perhaps we can do for 5 or 6 years, and never have to work again ever. There is nothing stopping me from coming back here and doing the academy in 5-6 years anyway, if I really wanted to.

Ji sees more of the challenge in the task where as for me there is no task I desire to do, so I just see the money. This then is my lesson. To find the task I wish to do. Previously I had wanted to discover my true creative energy, so I would have god like powers, like Dr Manhattan. But then I feel that I was supposed to not pursue that power, because that was egotistical, and the release of the ego was critical to the attainment of the goal.

So here I am now, and I am not entirely sure what I should do?

Do I continue to pursue the academy, knowing it may come to nothing.

Do I begin to shut everything down, including my coaching company, etc,

So I guess I need a bit of direction.

What would be ideal?

Would it be ideal for me if Ji went to Dubai, and I went to visit her for once a year? I stayed and kept the cafe going for one more year, but improve it again? Or I stay and focus on building the academy up, so that by the time she arrives back, she will have a job here, and can enjoy the lifestyle she wants? Or I go with her, and get a job there, that is still the same as here, but of course I am coaching say a junior squad or setting up junior academy, but am on the US$120,000 even if Ji is on more. And all of our expenses are taken care of so we don't have any. We get a day off a week, and Ji obviously travels to where she needs to go to take the players to the tournaments.

Hmmm. I think the obvious thing about the academy is the lack of passion I have for it. I think this is the same for all things. I simply lack passion for anything. I seem to be like Dr Manhattan devoid of passion.

This must be within my control surely. Otherwise I am just waiting to die. This seems a silly waste of potential.

Update on Dubai. This fri the owner is coming. I will do my presentation within the next week. I am now in line for the top job. That of being responsible for making him the money. Now I believe that the money can be unlimited. There is no reason why I can not make more than a million a year. My presentation is good, but I can do better so it is a case of more research and more detail to put forward the best possible case.

Then I will have to deliver.

Putting all the pieces together

Apreciation of what I like about what I have.

Intention of what will change

Retain an expectation of change.

Visualize the new in my now, using my physical environment

Watch and follow clues to intersect with the opportunities to manifest

Peeling away the illusion

The illusion is my perception of what I see. If I see the tip of the iceberg, that is my reality, if it is all I encompass in my comprehension. If I do not expect that there is more, then to me there will be no more to my reality that the tip. If I dare to believe that there is more, even if I do not know or cannot at this point comprehend that there is more, if I believe there is, then I will be shown the truth of what is. What if everything is, what then? This is to believe that all potentials exist including conflicting ones. Well this is true, all potentials do exist. What you then experience is relative to what you believe exists, and what you want to experience. Is the iceberg more than just the tip. If you say yes, then so it is, if you say no, then so it is, if you don't know then it will be random. If you there is but you need there to not be, it can be gone. You can say that underneath all the illusion is truth, but that can only be true if truth is the first and last thing in existance....but it is not. Before truth is potential. Before Potential there is space in which potential exists. Each man attempts to master and control his own environment. If he becomes corrupted he attempts to master and control the environment of others. But this mastery is only of the matrix. The next stage is for the I in the man to gain control of his potential. The next stage is gain control of the space in which his potential exists. A man commits sin if he seeks to control the environment of others, but he is truly lost once he seeks to control the potential of another entity. To gain control of his potential a man must first understand he and his potential exist beyond the reaches of the tip of the iceberg that he sees. I am more than just the flesh and material things. My energy and therefore my potential to create exist beyond what is in front of my eyes. This is the illusion. To try to manage my potential from within the matrix is to believe that my potential is limited to the matrix. This is truely the pathway to death. The matrix is only the experience realm. It is not a creative realm. This is the illusion. If I use it as a creative realm, I will soon see that all I can do is swap items for a decreasing value. Abundance is the opposite. It is to have an endless supply. Therefore my potential must exist outside the matrix. I have to know who I am. I have to have faith in this truth which must stretch beyond the limitations of this realm. I must be connected to something greater than myself, in order to move forward, otherwise I am limited to in the first instance my own experience, and then secondly to the speed as which I can learn via mistakes to discover things. Once I am connected to something greater then I can avoid much if not all of the mistakes on my journey. This is why much of what we need to know is mimicked in the matrix, because this is where we have our attention most of the time. People want to belong to churches and organizations because it enables them to connect to something greater than themselves. But of course any connection within the matrix is still within the matrix, and is therefore still an illusion. The only way out is through yourself.

Mental plane v physical plane

Since the mental plane is a reflection of the physical plane, and visa versa, what I am doing incorrectly on the mental plane will get reflected in my mirrors. So here I am having a large number of consequetive problems with my computer, denoted to be a reflection of the mental plane. What then am I actually doing incorrectly? Limiting my potential by deciding I am not good enough yet to do the task. In the beginning I decided the cafe was not good enough to open to the public. Like wise I before decided on many occasions I was not a good man, good marriage material yet because I didn't have enough assets etc behind me; back further I was not good enough to attract a beautiful woman etc etc. It is a theme that has been running for quite a long time. In the beginning there is not specifics...just generalizations that result in inaction. Then the universe begins to push me to change, and in being pushed for a reason to justify my indea, I pick something random, and use it as an excuse. This then becomes a concrete thought. If I chase concrete thoughts there is not energy to create them. So they cost a great deal to manifest. A great deal of sacrifice, of time, money, potential. I may well go in to debt chasing them too early. What then is the answer? It must be to become aware of my destructive position. This act of self destruction. Something I have been doing for my whole life in different guises. What thoughts can I change immediately to cause a change in my action and a change in my potential and experiences. Abstract thought...is generic ideas of things. I often have these. They are hopes. Ideas to which I attach my imagination, but not intention. Once I act on them...then things change. I have not been connecting to the Universe to bring people into my cafe. I have been saying NO don't send people to me, I am not ready yet. So it doesn't. The people don't come. I say, oh, whoah is me, my business is going broke, as I am operating in a deficit situation. I have nothing to appreciate. I have been saying, I am not good enough to have the luxury life etc, or what ever it is. I have been doing so much of this negative self destruction. On one hand I say it is in my potential but I can't access it, but if you look, I have been trying to access it through the physical plane. I have been very very unmetaphysical about things for ages. I can clearly see what is in my potential, but I am not in it. This is because I am in a different stream. I am in the physical stream, but my potential is still in the metaphysical realm. I have to pull it into my physical stream to experience it. I keep my potential abstract, but staying in a different realm to it, or being in the same realm as it, but having either no intention for it in the physical realm, or having action that is contradictory to that intention. To be in my now visualizing my intention into reality. When I visualize a potential in my now, it is real, as I am emerced in it. I disconnect from it, and therefore I stop the transaction of transforming the idea from it's mental state where it is easy to store, awaiting to descend/manifest into the experience realm. Like pulling a video or dvd out of the case and sloting it into the player. I decide the dvd costs me. I may decide it costs to rent it or to buy it. But in fact I can just borrow it for free. The key there is to not get attached to my entity, so that the entity feels the need to own it. This is where the cost gets made. To keep the experience in the player, the entity must pay a fee to keep it. I don't need to own it. Just draw it down.