I have finally got everything listed on Trade me finally. Ling finally got her gst number through yesterday, so now I can move forward and finalize the sale of the cafe officially. She still has yet to get her manager's certificate, and the ABA has a problem with their liquor license which I will find out about on Monday at a meeting with the city council.
I am still on track to go to see Ji on the 23rd, although I have not heard back from the Korean Badminton Federation yet who are supposed to be paying for my ticket to go, due to the fact that they owe Ji for her last ticket and decided they would pay for mine instead.
Still have no idea what I am supposed to be doing next. It is getting a little bit peculiar because I really have no idea and I just have to wait. It is like being a super active person who has always been filling his time with things to do, but then waking up one day and discovering that the things that you have been filling your time with, including the things on offer to do next are inconsequential and irrelevant to the scheme of things. So since all choices on the table leave me feeling impartial, I am left sitting on my hands, not being constructive, and fully testing the capacity to convert back to the things I know for lack of having anything better to spend my time on. It is like money that burns a hole in your pocket....time is doing the same for me.
I wandered around for 40 mins yesterday outside the pizza place trying to decide what I wanted to do for dinner....let alone my life. And my life feels like that at the moment. I recognise that I am fulfilling everyone else's dreams and goals, instead of my own, simply because I can't see clearly. That would be ok, as long as it gave me a good feeling....but my heart is just empty....and it just feels like an unglorified "waiting to die" approach...with the exception that I am not "filling my time" with mindless games or videos....which when I was...at least took my focus off the emptiness that is there.
I acknowledge I still have some tidying up to do...and it is my goal to complete that this week. With this all done, I will have one more week to go before I leave for Korea for a holiday. I am trusting that by the time I come back my direction will be clear one way or another. One thing I am going to do....is make my life more simply. Not only to unclutter, but let go of ambition for most ambitions I had simply complicate my life and actually in the end, do not add any value to me metaphysically. What I definitely want to make sure doesn't happen....is that I end up creating a negative scenario....which then gives me a direction.....(getting back to zero).
Perhaps when all clutter is gone and all things are simplified, my way forward will be clearer.
I can see why I used to jump from one idea to another. It is the spark of a new idea that gave me purpose. Not too far down the journey I would uncover that the depicted direction taken had no true metaphysical value for me. On this basis, I would then be looking for a new potential. For this reason, I would always have a new idea, and never finish anything....and that was ok, but actually I feel disconnected to everything right now. So any new ideas, I simply see them for what they are before I start them. This makes me feel more lost.
Anyway, will soldier on, and stay as focused on my metaphysics as I can.
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