The big picture

Gosh it has been ages since I was last here. It is nearly Aug 2010. I am staying with Kim, my income is very very low, my outgoings are way higher than my income and for the first time since april, I bit all of my nails last night as low as they can go. I have decided this morning something has to change. I seem to be sliding into an abyss of historic sludge, reverting back cannot be an option. I propose pause and take a strategic appraisal of my current situation, and where I intend to be over the next few years, and draw that path back to where I am now.

I have had dual pathways it seems and this has to disappear because it is a big part of what has caused my problems, and is a statement of separation.

There is NOT a physical and a Metaphysical pathway. There is only a theosophical pathway which includes these two.

If I do not seek something...I feel I do not go forward. If I seek something that is less than my full potential then I will reflect that as self destructive. This is what I believe I have been doing. Alignment is to connect to the pathway that is the source of my full potential being realised.

It means saying no when another pathway presents itself from a previous goal, and staying on task instead.

Ok, so what is my goal in this life time...and can I exceed this goal by attaining that now, thus enabling me to push ahead into the next tier of initiation?

My goal has been to understand the true creative process. What do I think is beyond this as a goal? What do I think is the goal of the tiers above me that aspire to have me follow. Do I have any goals for those below me to follow? Or simply not to get sick?

If I achieved this goal, what affect will this have on all of the other planes? If I let go of this goal, and chose instead to align myself in the service of that entity which governs at the next tier up, what would happen?