Conditioning comes from Culture, parents morales and values being imparted, expectations of those you spend the most time with, and are related to fear of rejection, or loss.
I am a European, Male, Middle sibling, middle working class. As soon as I started off with "I am" my condition kicks in. I AM is who I am. The rest is not an illusion, but an idea for me to explore. It is a perspective of a thought I once had. The perspective is through that thought. You see when you think of an idea....lets say a car. Your mind generally starts with the external image of that idea, then you move onto the internal images, then on to any external experiences of the car, then any internal experiences. But what if you could be the car. What if you could experience you the driver, from the perspective of the car. To experience the excitement that is aroused in the driver by them just coming into your aura. That is what we as God did, with the Human Body. We have had them as play things....in the same way humans have cars as play things, for ages. Then one day we decided we would go and have an experience of 'being' human. And we discovered there was much to explore. So we stayed there exploring...for a long time...so long in fact that we forgot who we really were.
So lets start off with a great sense of detachment to everything we do. From now on...this human vehicle I am in, is the entity. Ideally I am going to disenfranchise even that, so it just becomes a glorified shell...a carcass or disguise that I wield, aiming of course to get to a point of detachment similar to that of an outfit to put on and take off.
It is also important to realise that due to who I really AM, I am able to change clothes in a heartbeat, therefore nothing is fixed, and nothing is certain. There is no Truth (other than who I AM...) there is only decisions I make. Ok, so this vehicle is currently: European, male, middle class, middle sibling. To understand that I can change all of this...is critical, because it is that truth that empowers me. I am not European, nor am I male, nor am I middle class. These are the tools I have been using...the outfits I have been wearing. Like any clothes I can cast them off and put on new ones. (Unless I am so attached to them, that I will not take them off). That is the whole point of this exercise. So there are behavioural responses that I have adopted because I previously feared the reactions of the observer. Then there are personality traits I have adopted which are aimed at achieving something I want that the observer has the capability to give me. So conditioning is based on a fear and reward system.
I am conditioned to believe I am human, to behave in a rational, logical manner, and to follow the generally accepted direction. I perceive that if I go against the crowd I will be persecuted. It is interesting to see what is a conditioning, what is a belief and what is a perception, and where I have been confusing them.
What else equates to conditioning? When to sleep, when the body becomes hungry or tired, when it gets irritable etc. These are conditions.
I have conditioned myself to like certain things such as sugar, and ice cream. I have conditioned myself to buy 3 of something instead of 1, or to by more than is necessary as my imitation of abundance. So all of my Likes, and dislikes, are conditioned. All of my fears, in fact anything emotional is conditioned. Procrastination is conditioned. Inaction, laughter in the face of something sad is conditioned.
I have conditioned myself to many things. Most of which are not that productive, but this is an assessment so lets simply start to cover topics, and look at the conditioning that has occurred, and what I am going to change going forward.
First Topic: Food
I am now conditioned to eat just once a day. I am going to condition myself to have food rest days. Monday, wed, and Friday will become my water only day, punctuated by being bought food by anyone else. Tues and Thurs will be my live food only days. Sat and Sun at this point I will not set any rules. I have been conditioned to believe that food is a necessity for the body's survival. Wheat has an affect on the body at them moment as a training tool. I accept the challenge of fulfilling the use of this training tool for now, acknowledging that in the future, it will have no affect on the body at all. I have conditioned my body to become addicted to sugar. So now the cells have grown receptors for sugar, and so crave it when I have not got any in my system. I have proven I can trump this addiction once before, so lets do that again. I have conditioned myself to "like" chilli and Lime crackers, fruit cheese, cottage cheese. Bread and Jam, and cheese. None of these are good for my body. I am now going to condition myself to eat only what adds value to my body, and my mind.
I am going to condition myself, to pause and in a state of awareness when any "desire" for food comes into mind. Biting my nails is a conditioned response.
So I guess it is to recognise that conditioned responses occur in view of a lack of anything better to substitute it.
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