am I lost or is this spiral a circle

There is nothing like walking through the bush for two hours only to end up coming out into a clearing that looks so awefully familiar that it sets off a sinking feeling of helplessness in the pit of the stomach. As I go through my life, I anticipate that it is a spiral, as I go round, I may see a similar view, but I always hope to be viewing that same point from a different...somewhat higher perspective. It was to my amazement tonight while chatting with my sister, that I learnt an interesting fact about myself. I had this perception about myself that I was half way round the world from where I had started out, but when I looked at myself more closely that indeed,I had not left my own front door with regard to one fundamental area of my life. I learnt that I was still not mastering myself. My objective was to understand the true creative process, yet I still indulged in material creative desires being the desire to create money to enhance my life. When I step back and view where I am at, I can clearly see that I have been completely taken care of. And that my self destruction has been just that. I have been trying to create materially, in direct conflict to my prime directive. I have been attracting all manner of creations. These attract to me when I am not chasing after them via material creation. There is more to be covered here.