Selflessness

It is an interesting path to selflessness. I thought I was on it, but at every turn I am able to see that deeds I do are deep seatedly hiding a self interest...the desire to feel connected, loved, appreciated, successful. I was most recently focusing on centering my focus on abundance with every spare moment. I would meditate on the principle of abundance, and move toward being abundant energy. Initially I had an affirmation - "I am an abundance Magnet" and I would say this over and over sometimes for hours. It had a good ring to it and my energy was very uplifted when I did this. After the persistance of this for several weeks, I began to move towards the idea of being the energy that is clothed by abundance. This had an evern stronger field, yet something more seemed aparently undiscovered. Today, when I started to do this affirmation, I became attracted very strongly to a new affirmation. One I have been introduced to before. One indeed that has been the great search, challenge and puzzle for me......Love. The affirmation that I was drawn to when I was trying to say "I am abundance energy"....was "I am LOVE energy. then ..I AM LOVE! Then tonight I watched the celestion prophecy on TV. Now things are more clearer. Last night I was drawn to a new house of light...such as a Buddhist Temple. I felt very at home....I can feel I have been a Buddhist Monk before...I have always felt this. Yet, I went to another one last year, maybe 6 months ago, but they could find no trace of me. So I was indoctrinated again. My connection this life is fading....I am letting it go. My journey of detachment is almost complete. I am arriving. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. We talked about many things. One was about meditation and about keeping the eyes slightly but barely open. In the past I have found this tiresome, but now I understand. To do so, is to stay in the present....to be present in the now. To fully close activates the conscious mind making it more difficult to connect to Love. I had a break through today with my Will. I can clearly see now, that the drive and desires that are everywhere are not mine. Yesterday at the Temple, we discussed the importance of the protective seal that occurs when the candles are lit and the buddha's presence are requested, and with them come the heavenly guards. All those that no longer have bodies, use those that are weak willed to helpt them to have those experiences. These are those that are inbetween. Unable to let go of their earthly desires, and possibly unworthy for now to be reincarnated. The purpose then of our Will, is to set ourselves free from these earthly desires, that we may disconnect as a servant/vehicle of the underworld. (that world which is inside this realm, but not at this frequency) The way to do this....is to seek our a higher connection. To disconnect from our earthly energy source is not possible unless we have a higher source to connect to first. The struggle is the transition. There is no struggle if we do not seek the light. There is no struggle when we are in the light. The struggle is when the magnetic pull of both forces is at it's strongest. In the beginning, the magnetic pull of the light is weak. But our saving grace, is that it is persistent. When we move closer to the light, our awareness gives birth to the reality of two wills. We are endowed with an awareness of the decisions we make because we can see clearly the two options available. This is the time that the light and the illusion are at their strongest. The way forward for me, is to see that the illusion is not a true source of power/energy. Everything about it is temporary... which is of course the very nature of an illusion. This temporary state of energy results in us always having to plug into the illusion more and more often to get our "fix". It is only when we finally see this...that change will happen, and we can be drawn to the true energy fountain....the eternal energy source.....Love. Love grows because we share it. We become stronger, more vibrant, more alive because we share our love. The illusion is to trade it. To trade energy. Love is unlimited- OMINISCIENT, OMNIPRESENT OMNIPOTENT. The chant.....OOOOOMMMMMM "ALL" "ONE" The greatest act that we can do is not to share our love.....for this is past wisdom, and we are evolving.......the current stage of evolution requires from us that we inspire others to share their love which as a group....becomes one idea......one Love.