what is possible

I went through another stage of consciousness expansion today. The concept of what is possible is growing. My perception of what I am capable of is expanding...rapidly. But now I am in a state of conflict. I feel I am on the verge of a cliff. On one side there is magical things. But this is through the veil of desire. On the other is the same potential but it is gifted when I am ready and when my level of appreciation and giving back is in surplus. This I feel a sense of urgency to achieve. Like the coming of the end of my life is nearing, but yet I have so much to learn and so much to achieve. But the key is in releasing the desire for personal gain, yet retaining the sense of urgency without fear.
I think also, dipping my toe in the sea of potential is incredibly important as it stretches my consciousness. But to be able to do this without assimilating personality desire of what one finds is the only way to make it into that place as a reality. This then is where reality and potential is separated. When the personality observes and then desires items it sees within it's potential it is ever likely to stay an observer of that potential rather than an experiencer of the reality. But if the mind can release it's need to desire, but instead appreciates all that it has here and now...then more will follow including all that and more that it sees in it's potential.