money is energy

I feel like I am back to it again. I am trying to make money. I am trying to make energy, externally. Appreciation is the key, but there is more. It is like desire and appreciation go hand in hand, as if appreciation fuels the capability as if appreciation is the energy of desires. So when my desire is based around money, that doesn't make any metaphysical sense. I am a god...wishing I was a god basically. I have the creative energy, but I seek it in a way that comes from a belief I don't have it, because I am seeking it in a less efficient form, and perceiving it to be better, than the energy I have. Therefore I am not seeing the value in the energy I do have. ie appreciation. I am seemingly stuck in a situation of negative energy. Like an energy deficit. I am trying to get myself out, by pursuing money, because money is how the energy deficit has manifested. But it is not how the energy deficit was created. If I address what created the energy deficit in the first place, such as a lack of appreciation and enjoyment of what I was doing, or a lack of internal reasoning such as soul motivated intention within what I do on a day to day basis, to something like, a money intention, then due to the fact that I desired to know and understand the creative process I would then have to go through the hand smacking that I have had, to get me to look in the right direction. I keep looking for money. It is about my intention. You see desire is an intention to see an image of myself. That in itself is perfectly acceptable to have. But when I then set about trying to create that image myself, at a physically level, instead of letting my team do it, then I am I going down the wrong path. I am like board getting involved in the operations. There is more on the intention front. I need to look at it carefully.'